praise the creator
lifeisgoood
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
What Crabs most fear
if setting you free means that you will find true happiness unhinged from any conditions beset by my needy nature, then so be it.
you have barely lived beyond the womb and you want to settle, i can see it in your eyes, even though you deny it. I love you for your commitment, regardless of what underlying forces may be behind it, it is noble to the least. I love you, and i am learning how to love more authentically, you are young and have much to learn, open your mind fully, and give your whole being into manifesting your highest purpose. Dont look at me, look at yourself. YOU are much more important.
love until it hurts.
you have barely lived beyond the womb and you want to settle, i can see it in your eyes, even though you deny it. I love you for your commitment, regardless of what underlying forces may be behind it, it is noble to the least. I love you, and i am learning how to love more authentically, you are young and have much to learn, open your mind fully, and give your whole being into manifesting your highest purpose. Dont look at me, look at yourself. YOU are much more important.
love until it hurts.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
residues of funk have crusted on windowsills of this old home
with the shifting seasons the paint flakes off
and in the dim dawn you can see the symbols of the past etched by ancient fingertips beneath the foggy windowpane.
this home was vibrant once, lively with the inebriated conversation of lovers, friends and foes alike
but no voice resonates here no more, as it is vacant like your eyes.
with the shifting seasons the paint flakes off
and in the dim dawn you can see the symbols of the past etched by ancient fingertips beneath the foggy windowpane.
this home was vibrant once, lively with the inebriated conversation of lovers, friends and foes alike
but no voice resonates here no more, as it is vacant like your eyes.
severing the umbilical cord
a vast amount of grown men live their entire adult lives attached to the umbilical cord that causes them to be dependent of their mothers or to be dependent upon things that are substituted to fill in the need for constant appraisal and attention. This shallow sense of security derives from fearing life as it manifests itself as a type of clinging on to the womb. In all of our lives at some point we will fear life and the masculine will detest it through halfhearted efforts, or will regress into the womb yearning state that we all grasp for during times of uncertainty.
Having girl problems? then stop looking towards her for approval, A man should trust in his purpose in life and if he is honest to his mission that his woman will naturally understand and respect him for it. She will test you time after time and you will never win, learn to laugh and love her when she is difficult. your impatience will reveal your weakness to her and your relationship will turn stale.
i know this from experience and this is solely from what i have witnessed, circumstances may be different for others but i feel aligned with this natural pattern.
Having girl problems? then stop looking towards her for approval, A man should trust in his purpose in life and if he is honest to his mission that his woman will naturally understand and respect him for it. She will test you time after time and you will never win, learn to laugh and love her when she is difficult. your impatience will reveal your weakness to her and your relationship will turn stale.
i know this from experience and this is solely from what i have witnessed, circumstances may be different for others but i feel aligned with this natural pattern.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
life....WTF IS IT?
there are few truths i know of in this world
one of them is that i exist in one form or another, and the rest is all small print.
one of them is that i exist in one form or another, and the rest is all small print.
yo yeah!!!
How does a man go about living true to his very core? How does he accomplish living with true authenticity in this world without any superficial front or sham? what constitutes living this kind of truth? I suppose we could say that this type of man gives his whole being into whatever it is he is doing, full of worldly passions, courageously living to his full capacity, whilst humbly accepting his fears and weaknesses. This man creatively displays his femininity through whatever expression it may be without shame, yet he holds stern in his masculinity. I believe that this man is superior in the sense that he has conquered himself. this man is not to be mistaken for the man who conquers other men, for that shows weakness and insecurity within his being.
I have laid out a general template for the superior man, but as to the methods one would go about in achieving this state of completeness i have no answers, nor do i think any man truly does. we can only go as far as sculpting our persons to the very best of our capacities and in essence perfection is found in the process. one should not be fooled into believing that there is an ultimate pinnacle because no such end result exists in life or in anything. If everything is in a state of flux then it can be said that the "superior" man also has some unrefined edges. accepting these imperfections is a large aspect of achieving this state of wholeness.
if there is one thing i know to be true it is that i have the desire to tap into my ultimate being, my full capacity, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. i want to learn how to be content with the painful processes of learning and to assimilate them fully no matter how excruciating they may be. i believe that through this process i may find enlightenment in whatever form it comes to me in. i believe that peace of mind comes with the sum of integrating your experiences with your life, and through this process the truth and light of life and reality will come to you naturally.
the two extremes of this path that i can foresee you getting to this state of mind includes a path of sensory renunciation and disconnectedness from the world that follows a path of intense focus and discipline whilst the other involves a path of worldly passionate endeavors with ups and downs that follows a path of intense focus and discipline. there is no happy medium, for mediocrity settles you in a place of numbness, a life halfassed like a pity fuck. regardless of what path that is taken or if both paths are practiced in balance, persistence, humility, integrity and effort are a few things that are required in order to become the superior man.
I have laid out a general template for the superior man, but as to the methods one would go about in achieving this state of completeness i have no answers, nor do i think any man truly does. we can only go as far as sculpting our persons to the very best of our capacities and in essence perfection is found in the process. one should not be fooled into believing that there is an ultimate pinnacle because no such end result exists in life or in anything. If everything is in a state of flux then it can be said that the "superior" man also has some unrefined edges. accepting these imperfections is a large aspect of achieving this state of wholeness.
if there is one thing i know to be true it is that i have the desire to tap into my ultimate being, my full capacity, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. i want to learn how to be content with the painful processes of learning and to assimilate them fully no matter how excruciating they may be. i believe that through this process i may find enlightenment in whatever form it comes to me in. i believe that peace of mind comes with the sum of integrating your experiences with your life, and through this process the truth and light of life and reality will come to you naturally.
the two extremes of this path that i can foresee you getting to this state of mind includes a path of sensory renunciation and disconnectedness from the world that follows a path of intense focus and discipline whilst the other involves a path of worldly passionate endeavors with ups and downs that follows a path of intense focus and discipline. there is no happy medium, for mediocrity settles you in a place of numbness, a life halfassed like a pity fuck. regardless of what path that is taken or if both paths are practiced in balance, persistence, humility, integrity and effort are a few things that are required in order to become the superior man.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
the orojin of my passionate displacement
memories flicker like road lamps with loose wiring
the ashes of the inferno that raged in my heart still lay scattered in the corners of my mind
here and there a carbon remnant will combust spontaneously
but the window of my rationalizations blow them into oblivion
and the dance floor is still hot from our to coalescing bodies
and that moment of fiery rebirth is ever so clear
to this day unmatched is my regret
for giving in to such childish fears
if things would have been different?
but alas who knows these things
the seed has been sown
the flower has but bloomed
a rose's thorns leave subtle wounds
a love known so quick and lost to soon
has sealed the love into a shallow tomb
perhaps in a different life, our eyes will clasp
only to remind not to fall so fast
but a friendship could suit
to bear rewards of everlasting fruit.
the ashes of the inferno that raged in my heart still lay scattered in the corners of my mind
here and there a carbon remnant will combust spontaneously
but the window of my rationalizations blow them into oblivion
and the dance floor is still hot from our to coalescing bodies
and that moment of fiery rebirth is ever so clear
to this day unmatched is my regret
for giving in to such childish fears
if things would have been different?
but alas who knows these things
the seed has been sown
the flower has but bloomed
a rose's thorns leave subtle wounds
a love known so quick and lost to soon
has sealed the love into a shallow tomb
perhaps in a different life, our eyes will clasp
only to remind not to fall so fast
but a friendship could suit
to bear rewards of everlasting fruit.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
all of this is going to come from the top of my head, its been a long while since i written anything down and i believe that iv'e neglected the wonderful gift to manifest my thoughts and emotions as best as language can express. Lately i have been feeling hopelessly confused as to what the hell i am doing with my life, i suppose everyone must think these thoughts sometimes in their life when they aren't sure of things and then they go back to whatever distraction they were occupying their time with. i must be really confused because now im here writing about it. but what does that say about this particular bout of confusion? where does it arise from deep within the confines of my adolescent mind? at this point i could really use a distraction that would keep me interested for more than five minutes. all of the short term amusements dont seem to pleasure me as they once used to, and perhaps that is my fault. in my discomforts i will try to keep myself occupied with something to focus on, even if its utterly pointless or downright neurotic, this really needs to cease, this restless energy needs to be channeled into areas that really matter. things like my relationship with my partner, my passion for music and dance, art and nature, these are the things that i should be focusing on.
this monstrosity of a society we humans have manifested for ourselves is so desolate and alienating i want nothing to do with it, i work for the necessary needs of survival and for the art that i do, beyond these things i have no interest in being "successful". i have seen horrors and injustices done by the very institutions that were supposed to provide security and nurturing care for us, yet the masses continue to spread the asscheeks wide and willing to take constant assrape to last the eons. it is utter madness i say, and to hell with it all. the leviathan of what mainstream culture has no end in sight, it will consume and consume all until nothing is left but this mass abomination of a culture that will deteriorate from within no doubt. no counter culture is spared, it will all be melted into a giant pot of lamesause, its already happening, and its spreading like wildfire. there is no solace in the hippie mythos, the metal mythos, the rave mythos, its all been hijacked. so where do we turn now?
i am not discouraged though, because i have seen real courage and strength of a few in my generation who choose to stand defiantly in the this wake of hopelessness. the future lies in the hands of these sparse individuals. if you ever find one, and theirs no telling who they could be, you must encourage their brave effort or else they end up just another nameless martyr.
this monstrosity of a society we humans have manifested for ourselves is so desolate and alienating i want nothing to do with it, i work for the necessary needs of survival and for the art that i do, beyond these things i have no interest in being "successful". i have seen horrors and injustices done by the very institutions that were supposed to provide security and nurturing care for us, yet the masses continue to spread the asscheeks wide and willing to take constant assrape to last the eons. it is utter madness i say, and to hell with it all. the leviathan of what mainstream culture has no end in sight, it will consume and consume all until nothing is left but this mass abomination of a culture that will deteriorate from within no doubt. no counter culture is spared, it will all be melted into a giant pot of lamesause, its already happening, and its spreading like wildfire. there is no solace in the hippie mythos, the metal mythos, the rave mythos, its all been hijacked. so where do we turn now?
i am not discouraged though, because i have seen real courage and strength of a few in my generation who choose to stand defiantly in the this wake of hopelessness. the future lies in the hands of these sparse individuals. if you ever find one, and theirs no telling who they could be, you must encourage their brave effort or else they end up just another nameless martyr.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
April 10th already!
Oh Grandfather time why do you tax needlessly? It seems these days i havent the slightest second to spare seeing how majority of it is spent working for bread crumbs and then looking for escapes of the fixed clockwork that seems to have invaded my life. forgetting about the mundane work day by blanketing the stress with a nice alcoholic beverage seems to be the simplest way, the easiest way. But it is the wrong way, seeing how absolutely nothing will come out of it, well nothing progressive for that matter. its apparently obvious i have been neglecting my artistic and interpersonal reflective endeavors seeing how i haven't written in this blog for nearly a month. and its not like i cant take 15 minutes to scribble something down quickly, i have just lost the inspiration in my life that was once so apparent and spilling at the brim, so many ideas i have forgotten and neglected to pursue for reasons unaccounted for. no excuses, simply must get back on track, shambhala is only 4 months away and i am definitely not at the level of fitness and focus i am trying to attain.
no more distractions!
sacrificing certain wants and abolishing of bad habits.
balancing relationship with personal endeavors
uncompromisable diligence necessary
standing firm on my beliefs while allowing other opinions to flow and manifest tolerance.
Oh Grandfather time why do you tax needlessly? It seems these days i havent the slightest second to spare seeing how majority of it is spent working for bread crumbs and then looking for escapes of the fixed clockwork that seems to have invaded my life. forgetting about the mundane work day by blanketing the stress with a nice alcoholic beverage seems to be the simplest way, the easiest way. But it is the wrong way, seeing how absolutely nothing will come out of it, well nothing progressive for that matter. its apparently obvious i have been neglecting my artistic and interpersonal reflective endeavors seeing how i haven't written in this blog for nearly a month. and its not like i cant take 15 minutes to scribble something down quickly, i have just lost the inspiration in my life that was once so apparent and spilling at the brim, so many ideas i have forgotten and neglected to pursue for reasons unaccounted for. no excuses, simply must get back on track, shambhala is only 4 months away and i am definitely not at the level of fitness and focus i am trying to attain.
no more distractions!
sacrificing certain wants and abolishing of bad habits.
balancing relationship with personal endeavors
uncompromisable diligence necessary
standing firm on my beliefs while allowing other opinions to flow and manifest tolerance.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Dedicated to Alan Watts
In my previous blog entry i expressed briefly my affinity for conspiracy theories more notably political themed ones, and how i have transfixed myself to these ideas in order to find purpose or meaning in my life. Well i am here to now confirm that this endeavor was just a means to distract myself from life itself, i have made this realization before so it is my fault once again in doing reverting back to such childish defense mechanisms. Regardless, my interest in these affairs are still of considerable efforts, but i will now view them with this new perspective in mind. Before i felt that because i was taking in this information that somehow it will make be a better person in whatever reason, i have come to realize that knowledge in no shape or form can possibly make any person Good natured, or to behave in a way with increase virtue and moral. The pursuit of Knowledge is only useful if the individual has the necessary wisdom to guide the power acquired, im sure the current state of humanity is a well depicted reflection of this imbalance.
to be a free thinker requires immense courage, will and discipline. We are used to being impressioned by various external forces, we rely on these forces to guide our lives, to give our lives purpose because we identify with these things that are otherwise trivial and without significance. in order to have a truly fresh perspective of the world, one has to strip down entirely his or her current worldview, to many this is a feared and painful process to endure because of our attachments. humanity has reached a dead end, and until we can free ourselves from our own self created limitations we are doomed as a species.
to be a free thinker requires immense courage, will and discipline. We are used to being impressioned by various external forces, we rely on these forces to guide our lives, to give our lives purpose because we identify with these things that are otherwise trivial and without significance. in order to have a truly fresh perspective of the world, one has to strip down entirely his or her current worldview, to many this is a feared and painful process to endure because of our attachments. humanity has reached a dead end, and until we can free ourselves from our own self created limitations we are doomed as a species.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Just a Friemdly remider
In the constant wake of the mundane incessant toil for a mere paycheck, i find myself in search of something of universal purpose, i am in search of something that can give me substantial value and meaning to my life. I believe that all of my efforts are towards connecting myself to my destined path, cutting the thick brush between my self and some sort of lost temple that houses the missing pieces of my life. whether i am consciously aware of subconsciously aware of these efforts i feel that somehow every choice i make is directly in effect to that purpose. i have found myself searching is many places, and throughout my life i can see a definite pattern. lately i have tried to find meaning through conspiracy theories, i find them to be greatly amusing with mild interest. i have grown to question everything, and when it comes to conspiracy theories there is an obvious range of information that must be carefully filtered through to see what is factual and what is mere myth. i tend to research information about secret societies and world governments because somehow i think that by involving myself in these affairs i can find my purpose. ultimately these interests fall short of any serious response from myself, perhaps if i had more resources and time i would actually further my efforts into unlocking the mysteries. Once again i am with nothing and my life returns back to the monotonous tone of the working life.
i think perhaps i should return back to my efforts in finding spirituality, during those years when all of my efforts was put towards exporing my consciousness and spirituality i found that i was transcending to new heights and experiences. i felt stimulated and i was in a blissful reverence for the time being. at the time i felt that i was combating my logistical ways of thinking, remember experiencing life in a non linear fashion, with more spontaneity with more opportunity and no limitations, i literally felt that i could do anything. but one again i lost focus and i allowed my rational to take control of my life once again. amidst my confusion i ruined great friendships, i allowed myself to get hurt and i hurt other people, i wish i could go back and do things differently because i feel like a better outcome would have been achievable. in retrospect, their were so many factors that contributed to my falling out of that lifestyle and the people i knew. will i return to those spiritual endeavors? i think so but under a different perspective, with more experience and knowledge, my approach will be guided by those principals so i don't lose my way as before. i fear the depths of how far the rabbit hole goes, yet my curiosity beckons me foreward. perhaps i will one day reconcile with the person i loved in during those years, it only seems right to set things right, after all it was in the distant past and lingering emotions only eat away at you slowly like parasites.
but here i am once again as square one, i have a job, i have a home, i have my word and my girl. i suppose this is all i need for now, yet i have the urge to see more and explore. i am hoping that shambhala this year will set the momentum i need to return to a more higher existence i once new. there are many preparations to be made.
i think perhaps i should return back to my efforts in finding spirituality, during those years when all of my efforts was put towards exporing my consciousness and spirituality i found that i was transcending to new heights and experiences. i felt stimulated and i was in a blissful reverence for the time being. at the time i felt that i was combating my logistical ways of thinking, remember experiencing life in a non linear fashion, with more spontaneity with more opportunity and no limitations, i literally felt that i could do anything. but one again i lost focus and i allowed my rational to take control of my life once again. amidst my confusion i ruined great friendships, i allowed myself to get hurt and i hurt other people, i wish i could go back and do things differently because i feel like a better outcome would have been achievable. in retrospect, their were so many factors that contributed to my falling out of that lifestyle and the people i knew. will i return to those spiritual endeavors? i think so but under a different perspective, with more experience and knowledge, my approach will be guided by those principals so i don't lose my way as before. i fear the depths of how far the rabbit hole goes, yet my curiosity beckons me foreward. perhaps i will one day reconcile with the person i loved in during those years, it only seems right to set things right, after all it was in the distant past and lingering emotions only eat away at you slowly like parasites.
but here i am once again as square one, i have a job, i have a home, i have my word and my girl. i suppose this is all i need for now, yet i have the urge to see more and explore. i am hoping that shambhala this year will set the momentum i need to return to a more higher existence i once new. there are many preparations to be made.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Gear for Shambhala and life
Costume - the 90s funkateer
hammock
air mattress
Irainian flag
filipino flag
canteen
anything else i think of......
- cross colors funky pants
- baker boy hat
- Kid n play shirt
- Omni pumps
- funky high socks
- LOCS glasses
hammock
air mattress
Irainian flag
filipino flag
canteen
anything else i think of......
Self Motivation
5 more months till shambhala, only 5 months to prepare for the epic week of non stop partying and celebration of the end of summer. i have so many short term goals i want to accomplish before shambhala, and i fear that lately i have lacked the will, focus and determination to accomplish these feats. i want to be at my physical peak by august so i can have increased stamina for prolonged dancing, along the way i want to increase my body/mind potential so that they progress they will assist eachother in developing more effectively. certain steps must be taken in order to attain my level of fitness and psychological well being, and i dont have the time or privilege to compromise neither. this includes a strict diet of high potency proteins, vegetables and fruits as well as minimizing my intake of starches and fatty oils. i have developed a healthy breakfast which consists of whole grain cereals, probiotic yogurt, fruits and a supplement of hemp oil. my lunches will consist of lots of fibers and high protiens and dinners will consist of the same foods. it will be increasingly difficult to remain focused all of this time sue to the fact that i work in a restaruant where there will be many moments of temptation to snack on unhealthy foods, it doesnt help i work with deepfryers. This is a good ooportunity to prove to myself that i can increase my patience as well as my will. i am also going to devise a strenuous work out plan that will include every day of the week, levels of intensity will vary from day to day. i have spent many years as a couch potato so i want to focus mainly on cardio increase my stamina and lung strength, reversing the effects of being docile for a few years. i wont focus on muscle toning until i have lost desired ammount of body fat.
i am mainly focusing on my physical condition as it is the area that is needed most attention. i will spend the rest of my time conditioning my mind, keeping it sharp.
all of this is to be at my peak during shambhala and then to continue afterwards applying the things ive learned to the rest of life.
i am mainly focusing on my physical condition as it is the area that is needed most attention. i will spend the rest of my time conditioning my mind, keeping it sharp.
all of this is to be at my peak during shambhala and then to continue afterwards applying the things ive learned to the rest of life.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
360 to 180
To initiate the birth of this new blog i want to lay the foundations of what purpose it serves for me and for anyone willing to take the time to read it. i will first state that my life is no more full of grandeur than the next bloke, therefore i will leave my heavily opinionated self at the door. Instead, these new set of writings will reflect a more positive outlook than what my previous blogs represented, my views of the world continue to change and i figure its only right to set foot into the new year with light feet. I shed my judgmental microscope to make room for a more broadened perspective, so its only set forth and right that i put on a pair of funky fresh specs and go forth into this new decade with a clean slate. its no mystery that the 2000's consisted of suck, but the bitterness of of being that cynical prick sucked even more. life is in your own hands, take control of your mind or it will control you.
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